Not of this earth

Title - Not of this earth
Language - English
Genre - Sci-Fi, Vampire

We start with a spaceship flying through space (as a spaceship does).  Then we cut to earth and a couple who are getting intimate in a car.  Something explodes or crashes off screen which interrupts the couple just long enough for the woman to ask ‘what was that’ and then they get back to it.  A man in sunglasses who is carrying a silver suit case walks from the direction of the explosion up to the car he kills the couple by looking at them and then attaches a device to the woman which drains the blood from her.

Then we cut to the opening credits (Do films still have these, if they do they don’t have the same impact) whilst the credits are on we get scenes of various monsters and aliens attacking humans, mainly females.

The film starts properly.  Our man in the sun glasses goes into a hospital for a blood transfusion but won't submit to a blood test to see what type he is.  After the doctor refuses to give him his test he finally allows it but hypnotizes the doctor  into not telling anyone about the results.

Whilst at the hospital the man (Mr Johnson) convinces Nadine, one of the nurses to work for him, as he will need regular transfusions.  Nadine moves in with Mr Johnson and his other helper, Jeremy but it’s not long until she realises that there is something not quite right with her new employer.

Not of this earth is bad, in a good B movie way.  Mr Johnson is a cold emotionless Vulcan like alien vampire who doesn't quite get some of the things that humans do and who occasion goes into dramatic, over the top acting that is reminiscent of a bad Dracula.

Jeremy, the man Mr Johnson has hired as his assistant starts out as a sleazy, likable rogue who is always perving over Nadine but, somewhere along the way we start to like him as he teams up with Nadine to find out Mr Johnsons secrets.

Nadine comes across as likeable most of the time but, when she is with Jeremy she turns really annoying and sarcastic.

There are some parts of ‘Not of this earth’ that puzzle me. Both Mr Johnson’s confusion with some of his interactions with humans & Dr Rochelle’s actions when asked about Mr Johnson seem to be an attempt to bring more humour into the film but I’m not entirely sure  if it is intentional, Dr Rochelle comes across in an almost farcical way that does not fit in with the rest of the film and in some scenes even seems to break the flow of the story (the scene in the restaurant is prominent in my mind) where as Mr Johnson's confusion just seems a bit stilted and weird.

There also seems to be an attempt to get as many topples women on screen as possible.  now i have no problem with breast, in fact I’m quite a fan but you would think that there would be at least a few women who visit Mr Johnson or who live in the area who walk around in clothes that don’t just come open  as soon as they meet an alien vampire.  I mean he doesn't even have to use his hypnosis to get these people to strip.

If you are a fan of ok acting, stilted dialogue and Boobs then give ‘not of this earth’ a watch hey at least it has an attempt at a plot.

I bought a vampire motorcycle

Title - I bought a vampire motorcycle
Language - English
Genre - Horror, comedy

Nick Oddy (noddy to his friends) has just bought a new, slightly damaged motorcycle & when he gets it home it doesn’t want to start and some has nicked the petrol cap, also the fuel tank appears to be covered in Tomato ketchup.  The Next morning Noddy goes to fix the bike and finds that the petrol cap is back on.  Whilst at work he gets a phone call to go to his friend’s house and when he gets there he finds that his friend has been killed.

After fixing the bike Noddy takes it out for a test run, everything is going fine until he passes a group of Hells Angels.  As he passes them bike seems to take on a life of it’s own and runs them off the road.  As time goes on the bike starts have odd behaviour, it doesn’t always start or it stops suddenly, it seems to move on its own and, if it’s parked on the street overnight it’s found in the garage the next morning.  The problems get really bad when the bike drives away from the FU-King Chinese takeaway, taking Kim, Noddys girlfriend with it.  After throwing Kim off the bike goes on a rampage leaving Noddy to try to find a way of stopping it.

I bought a Vampire motorcycle is a good little comedy horror that has a clever monster which has a fun and thought through origin which is a concept that is sometimes missing from some low budget horror movies and the story has a good progression.  We are not thrown straight into any violence but the sense of threat builds up as the story progresses and even though we know from the film’s title and from the first scene that the bike is going to be the monster we are never sure how it is going to manifest until it happens.

As well as having a good story vampire motorcycle manages to pay homage to a couple of the classic horror movies, there are dream sequences that are slightly reminiscent of ‘An American Werewolf in London’ and the scenes where priest sets up the protection in the hospital and the nurse takes it back down are taken from Dracula.

Vampire Motorcycle has a very British feel to it (it was filmed in Birmingham and has a British cast) with a good mix of humour and gore with a good number of decapitations, people getting cut in half and arrows up the bum mixed with on screen  gags, throw away one liners and a talking Poo.

I would recommend I bought a vampire motorcycle to anyone who likes movies that don’t take themselves too seriously & to people who like vampire movies.

Killer Klowns from outer space

Title - Killer Klowns from outer space
language - English
Genre - Horror, sci-fi, comedy

















Crescent Cove is a normal American small town.  One Friday night a group of the local teens are at the ‘Edge of the world’, the local make out spot when a shooting star passes overhead and seems to land in nearby woods.  Debbie and Mike decide to see if they can find where it landed they go into the wood only to be distracted by a circus big top.  As there is no one around they decide to go inside and, instead of the open ring they were expecting they find themselves in fun house type corridors.  As they explore they find a room a few pieces if candyfloss hanging up. They hide when they hear someone coming and watch as a clown comes into the room who starts to do something with a popcorn machine.  As they hide Mike knocks one of the hanging candyfloss and discovers a body in it, the clown hears them and chases them out firing popcorn at them as they go.  As they leave the big top the clown is joined by another.  Debbie and Mike make it back to their car just as the clowns catch up with them, they run over the clowns but they just get back up.

Mike and Debbie go to the local police, officer Kurt Moonie believes its a joke but Dave, the other police man agrees to go back the tent with Mike but when they get there the tent is gone.  In the mean time an army of clowns are rampaging through the town killing and abducting the locals.

Killer Klowns from outer space is a good little B movie from the 1980’s with good fun effects and costumes.  The Klowns themselves are quite creepy looking as any horror/sci-fi clown should be and they carry out their kills with a creepy almost childlike glee, most of the time entertaining the the victims first.   The film does a good job of keeping the Klowns clown like but also making them not quite human.  The circus theme is also kept up well with the various weapons and ways of killing that the Klowns use whether they be candyfloss guns or shadow puppets.

The story in Killer Klowns follows a pretty standard, alien invasion B movie plot.  something is seen landing near a small American town, some locals go and look and discover the alien, they try to warn the town but no one believes than until it’s too late and I find that many of these films easily become a clone of another film with a generic monster or alien rampaging through the town, a blond female who normally does a lot of running around screaming (mostly without much clothing on) and then the military or local jock/nerd team up save the day and most of these films tend to bend in with one another.  Killer Klowns stands out from some of the other because the monsters, the Klowns are memorable, they are not ‘Pod people’ or an unintelligent monster killing everything it’s path.  The klowns obviously enjoy the carnage they are creating and, although they may give off the impression of being the rampaging monster of other films they have put some thought into how to get their victims.

Killer Klowns also has some memorable scenes, without giving too much away the scene with the small Klown and the bikers always sticks in my head.

So If you want  a low budget b movie with a sense of humour give Killer Klowns from outer space a watch.

Whilst writing this I have come across the imdb entry for the sequel due out in 2016, whether this will happen or I can’t say but it may be worth keeping an eye open here

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Title - Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
Language - English
Genre - Horror, Zombie, magic

A man in top hat and another that looks like a ghoul dig up a grave, they attack the caretaker when he finds then.  The duo then removes a corps from the coffin and the man in the top hat gets in.  Later Alan leads a group of his friends off a boat and through a graveyard towards the empty caretaker’s house.  Alan is the leader of an acting troupe and his friends are all actors in the same group.  As they walk they talk about the history of the graveyard with Alan telling grizzly tales about the former caretakers and the occupants of the graves.  When they reach the caretakers they break in, planning to spend the weekend.  After some time Alan opens a large chest that he had brought with it, he claims it is a magician's box.  He puts on a cape and takes a book he claims is a grimoire out and claims that they are going to raise the dead.  Treating it all as a joke the party go back out to the graveyard and dig up the grave of Orville Dunnworth, they hand Orvel over the cross behind his grave and, whilst Alan lays out some candle other party members dig up other graves.  Alan the reads incantations out of the book and, when nothing happens he curses the devil.  Other members of the group get in on the act by seeing who can give the best performance and curse.  Most of the party return to the house, bring the corps of Orville with them whilst two others remain in the graveyard to cover up the rest of the graves.   Alan's behaviour with the corps gets more and more bizarre leading to the rest of the actors walking out on him but, as they leave the house they are greeted by the return one of the their colleagues who was filling in the graves and hot on his trail are the residents for the graveyard who have been summoned forth as zombies.  The party retreat back into the house and try to  find a way past the attacking horde and back to  the boat.

The Acting in 'Children shouldn't play with dead things' is deliberately camp and over the top as the main cast are an acting troupe looking to get their next part.  Alan refers to them as his 'children' (making them the titular children) and he is often putting them down.  There is obvious tension in the group which seems to get a lot of outlet in the 'devil cursing' scene and after that Alan seems to have won back some of the group who were slowly turning against him but, as his behaviour with the corps gets worst those that are against him gain more support in the group to the point where his threats of kicking them out of the play is a risk they are willing to take.

Once the zombies appear in the film it takes on a classic ‘night of the living dead’ or ‘Evil dead’ feel with the group of protagonists trapped in a cabin with an increasing number of the dead surrounding them, in fact, as with Evil Dead they also have one of them inside the cabin.  The zombies themselves are quite good and do look like the undead corpse type and they seem slightly more intelligent than the zombies in other classic movies, although they do swarm in the same manner they are able to climb to higher windows and set up an ambush.  The final scene of the film leads us to believe that they either have more intelligence than previously shown or it is increasing.

The Films Score is good at setting the mood but i did find that, when the zombies were first rising the incidental music was distracting.

Over all I found ‘Children shouldn't Play with dead things’ a good low budget zombie flick.

Doppelganger

Title - Doppelganger

Language - English

Genre - Horror, psychological

Patrick can’t believe his luck when the beautiful Holly rents his spare room but he soon begins to suspect that there is something strange about her.  He sees her on the street but when he calls her she ignores him and when he mentions it she denies even leaving the house.  Even when they sleep together she denies it was her.  As the relationship continues Holly behaviour seems to get stranger.

Holly's brother is confined in a metal home.  He was accused of throwing their farther out of a window when he was eleven and Holly herself has recently been accused of killing their mother.

Holly tells Patrick that it wasn't her, that the person he has been seeing around (and sleeping with)  is the same person who killed her mother and that it is not actually human but a Doppelganger, a spirit or demon that is a duplicate of Holly. As Patrick tries to find the truth to what is going on he finds that there may be some truth in Holly’s claims and, even if there isn't there is definitely more going on  than anyone knows.

Doppelganger is an odd film that i came across  on one of the less known Uk TV channels (at the time) and it had me hooked almost straight away.  The film is part thriller part ‘Psycho’ and part horror movie and for a long time we (the viewer) are made to wonder if the monster and other Holly are real or if it is just all in her head and, as the film progresses the mystery gets stranger.

Doppelganger has a good flow and Drew Barrymore does well at switching between good and bad Holly, although I’m not sure where the scene where Holly kicks Danny Trejo between the legs is supposed to fit in.  The film has a good feel to it with some of the jump scares tuning out to be dreams that are almost reminiscent of the dream scenes in ‘An American Werewolf in London’ and these coupled with the hallucinations and reflections of the creature that Holly has all add the mystery of what is actually true.

I have seen a couple of reviews for Doppelganger in the past and none of them thought the film was much good and I really do have to disagree with them.  There isn't much gore in the film but that’s ok it a more psychological film, focusing more on the ‘is she mad’ aspect of Holly than on the gore and murders.  There is a bit of sex and nudity but it does not detract from the film, instead it is used to show/hint at and move along relationships between some of the various characters.  One of the reviews I saw stated that the only reason to watch the film was for the shower scene featuring Drew Barrymore and yes it’s always nice to see some naked flesh on screen I’m not sure that the other reviewer quite understood that the scene was also there to show part of the ‘other’ aspect of Holly mind.

As I said earlier Doppelganger is, in some ways more than one thing, the psychological, the slasher and the monster and in other films i have reviewed I have said that this kind of tale doesn't always seem to work.  In some other films i have reviewed some parts just seem to have been added to cover all the bases, for instance in the Japanese Cursed the film seems to suffer from not really knowing what is killing off the character, some are killed by slashers, some by ghosts whilst others just disappear.  This is not the case with doppelganger, the genre switching mystery is handled in such a way that not knowing what we are actually dealing with until the end actually helps keep us interested instead of leaving us with a jumble unnecessary plot lines and characters (although until the end I was beginning to wonder what the point of Holly’s dad was).

Over all I would recommend Doppelganger it has a good narrative, a mystery, a monster, some killing, some (female) nudity and a cameo by Danny Trejo.  Who could ask for more?

Samurai Bride

Title - Samurai Bride
Language - Japanese
Genre - Anime, harem, fighting

Samurai Bride is the follow up series to Samurai Girls  so there may be some spoilers.

After the events of Samurai Girls Muneakire had gone travelling to help get over the final battle, leaving the samurai in charge of the dojo.  The series starts as Muneakira returns to find that the Dojo was running out of money and so, to stop it closing the girls have opened it up as a maid cafe.  Muneakira is not happy with this but is soon persuaded that it is the only a temporary measure until they can make the money to pay off the debts.

As part of the promotion for the cafe Kangtsugu is sent out to hand out fliers, on her way she takes shortcut through the local graveyard where she runs into four strangers. Later these strangers visit the Dojo/maid cafe and reveal themselves to be recently resurrected dark samurai who are looking to challenge Jubei, who they believe to be the strongest warrior around to a fight to the death.  The Dark Samurai then attack the girls but Jubei does not have the ability to transform into a master samurai any more.  The dark samurai believe that Jubei is an imposter and give the girls one month to produce the real Jubei, they put a curse on Muneakira that will stop him raising his arms in battle and if, after the month the real Jubei does not fight them Muneakira will lose his power and none of the girls will ever be able to become master samurai again.

The first few episodes are mainly fan service with the slowly developing story line of Muneakira and the others trying to find a way of getting Jubei her powers back (Jubei lost her powers when she sacrificed herself at the end of season 1.).  Having to have at least the same amount of fan service we now see all the main female cast in maid outfits and we have the introduction of the 4 dark samurai, all of whom are female and one panty stealing monkey,  also who manages to accidentally become one of Muneakira's samurai. This upsets Kangtsugu and leads to a few comic moments. The fan service in the first half of the show reaches its high point when due to the sudden surge of people opening maid cafes in the area the girls decide to hold a competition to find out which is the best.  The episode starts at the final of the competition with the last two cafes being Muneakira's and one open suddenly by the dark samurai (no one knows where it is & we don't think they've ever had any customers).  Muneakira's team are cheating as they see wining as way of boosting their revenue, the dark samurai are using it as a way to find out the strengths of the samurai girls, especially Jubei.

After this episode the story starts to play out properly the samurai girls now have clue as to what is wrong with Jubei and set out to find Keiji Maede the one person they think can help.  There is also a strange creature stalking the streets below the dojo that seems to be linked to the dark samurai.  Muneakira and co have to find out what the creature is and why the dark samurai were really resurrected.  With the help of a de powered Gisen and some information that Yoshihiko Tokugawa has been keeping secret will the girls be able to save Great Japan from chaos and destruction.

Samurai bride takes it's time getting down to the main story using the first few episodes to introduce the dark samurai, the problems Jubei has and to set up some small storylines.  The first half of the series relies more on the fan service than the story which i have no problems with.  I was watching the American edit and can’t help wondering how much of the censorship was for that audience.  I am waiting for the UK edition to come out.  When the story starts proper it is interesting and has quite a few twists and turns in it which kept me entertained (again the fan service also helped) although it was pretty obvious who the bride was going to be.

One of the strengths of the first series was the art style and i was glad to see that this was carried on in this season.

Samurai bride is a good follow on to the first season and if you watch for the story more than the panty shots then stick with it.

If you have seen Samurai girls then you have a good idea what you will be getting into but if you haven’t (& why not) then be warned there is fan service, panty shots & nudity everywhere.

So this is definitely one to watch if you like action fighting ghosts and did i mention the fan service.

Cursed (2005 American)

Title - Cursed
Language - English
Genre - Horror, werewolf

On their way home Ellie and her brother Jimmy hit an animal in the road causing them to crash in to another car which they knock off the road.  Whilst they are trying to help the other driver they are attacked by the animal.  Ellie and Jimmy get away but, over the next few they begin to realise that they are changing into something else.  The race is on to find out who the werewolf who attacked them is and to kill them to stop the change and the killing.

Cursed is a Werewolf film directed by Wes Craven and it deliberately plays along the lines of a standard werewolf film, for a bit. As with a lot of Wes Craven's films it has a dark sense of humor and a sense that it doesn't take itself totally serious.  The standard setup is the same as a lot of werewolf films, the main character, or in this case two of the main characters get bitten by a werewolf and then they have to deal with the consequences.  The one advantage of having two victims of the wolf attack is that we are shown two ways of dealing with the change.  First up there is Jimmy, the younger of the siblings who is slightly nerdy and often accused of being gay, which he isn’t.  It doesn't help that he is interested in Jenny the school jocks (Bo) girlfriend.  As in other werewolf/vampire films of this type Jimmy has a convenient collection of werewolf comics to help in his research into what is happening to him and, of course no one believes him, even Ellie to begin with.  Jimmy's story line takes a 'Teen Wolf' approach to coping with the wolf curse, pushed by Bo's bullying he ends up at tryouts for the wrestling team where he shows that he is stronger and more athletic than the rest, although unlike Teen Wolf he does not need to turn into the wolf to do so.    

Ellie, on the other hand has trouble believing that they are cursed, to begin with she refused to believe that the original attack was by a werewolf but as time moves on she can’t deny the changes that are happening to her.

There are parts of Cursed that seem to use traditional vampire law instead of the recognised werewolf law for instance silver will hurt a wolf but not necessarily kill it.  To kill the wolf you only need to separate the brain form the body.

To end their curse Ellie and Jimmy find they have to kill the wolf who turned them but who is it.

Cursed is a good film, it does not take itself too seriously and has a good story.  Most werewolf films have a victim coping with the curse and not necessarily trying to end it or have a pack of wolves terrorizing a community/group of people but Cursed we have the victims trying to end the curse without doing too much damage themselves and this works well as there are more there is more than one wolf. 

We also have Christina Ricci gothing up and looking cute so that’s always a bonus.