Things to look out for when buying a house in movie land.

We all know that there are a number of thing that you need check but here are some checks that may just save your life.

Location, location, location

They say that location is everything and there are some checks that you should probably make on the neighborhood for example...

Empty streets - They say every town has an 'Elm Street' and if there is one and there is a strange absence of teenagers the you know something is up, even if you are not moving into Elm Street you may want to be careful a sleep deprived teenager can be a dangerous thing.  Empty streets are always a bad sign & if you can't find a good babysitter is on the lookout for the lad in the captain Kirk mask

Local bar's & clubs - Always check out the local facility’s, both to check out how safe they may be, where better to sit out the current zombie invasion than the local but it is equally possible that the local may be bigger source of trouble, it could be the local hangout for any one from the local biker gang to a pack of hungry werewolves.  Even if the customers are normal, if a bit ruff, truckers you still have to watch out for the local entertainment, after all who knows what is going on under the strippers snake.

Even if you decide it is safer to live away from all other people you still have to be careful, do you think the door to your farm house will with withstand the hordes of hungry undead when you are the only source of food.

The Neighbors.

Once you are happy that you will be able to pop into the local without you supersoker of holy water you still need to keep your eyes on the local people for instance...

Are all the women nicely behaved, well dressed and never argue?  If so it's possible they have all been replaced by robots.  Of cause this may not be a problem for you, if not welcome to Stepford & leave the wife on the doorstep we'll have her replaced by tea.

On the other hand you may find that the only people in the town are the women.  At first glance this may seem to be a good thing after all it would make finding a date easier but you need to ask yourself what happened to all the other men after all it is unlikely a town has survived for long with just one gender, look around if you see an over the top pa system it is advised to run and never look back.

Even once you have found a neighborhood where both sexes seem to be accounted for you still need to be on your toes and look out for groups and clubs the hoodies hanging out on the street corner are a common sight and are probably pretty harmless but what of the social/hunting lodge or the 'keep our town clean' comity, what secrets are behind their doors and what did happen to the human statue who was on the corner outside Smiths?

The House

So the neighborhood seems safe and the people appear sane now you have to check the actual house.  The first thing to do is check the history out, if the previous owners have turned up dead or seem to have vanished you need to be careful.  Check the land deeds if the house is built on any kind of burial ground you should probably look at a different house.

Even if the previous owners are accounted for and there were no graves desecrated to build it's still a good idea to have a good look around, check under the wallpaper if a room is painted red or covered in graffiti about being unhappy then there is probably some bad mojo floating about.  Last of all check any wells, water tanks and hidey holes, all good places for hiding bodies.

Landlords & other tenants

If you are moving into flats or a hotel you should also try to find out about the other people in the building, does the landlord keep talking to his mother even though no one has ever seen her.  What about the man across the hall who keeps feeding something in a wicker basket and what about the man on the top floor, just what is he doing with the anthrax.

Items left behind

Once you have moved into your new house you need to be aware of any items that the previous owners have left behind after all what better way to get rid of that cursed item than to leave it for someone else to find, even worst if the previous tenant died then it could have been any one of the knickknacks that have been left behind.  Any item could be dangerous, from the Chinese puzzle box left on the fire place to the copy of the necronomican left in the basement and don't just play that video that has been left lying around.  Also remember not all wardrobes lead to Narnia some contain monsters as do mirrors.  It would be advised to empty everything out of the house that is not yours and then burn the lot.

If you follow this advice you should find a nice quiet house where you will out your life in safety...except what’s that, a new neighbor moving in and what’s that, it looks like a coffin, oh well time to move again.