The Blair Witch Project

Title - The Blair Witch Project
Language - English
Genre - Horror, found footage

**SPOILER ALERT**

This review contains spoilers

I had heard a lot of bad things about The Blair Witch Project, that it didn’t have a good story, that the camera work made you sick, the witch does not appear & it is just a bad film but I wanted to see what it was like, and I was pleasantly surprised.

Blair Witch is sited as being the first of the ‘Found Footage’ films and follows 3 people as they try to make a documentary about the Blair Witch, an urban legend centred around a number of deaths that have occurred in a small American town.

Blair Witch starts off quite slow with the main cast (Heather, Josh & Mike) interviewing the residents of the town and one of the first strange things I noticed was that, when questioning the locals there are actually 2 legends mentioned, that of the witch who is described as being creepy woman who is covered in black, horse like hair and also one about a hermit who killed 12 children two at a time making one stand in a corner whilst he killed the first and then killing the second one.  Although both legends are mentioned there does not seem to be any major connection between the two, in fact the main characters just seem to brush off the reference to the hermit presumably because it is not the witch.

As the group head into the woods you get the normal character building and find out the team dynamics and also become aware that they only have two days to get the footage and get back to their normal lives.  As they progress small augments start, mainly about which direction to go in and how long it is taking to get to the sights of the legends.  After visiting the areas they wanted to see they find that it is taking longer to get back than planed and so they have to spend another night in the woods during which they hear noises, as if someone is outside the tent, the only other strange point is that the map has disappeared.  It later turns out that one of the group (Mike) has thrown away the map as he believes that no one knows how to use it anyway.  I’ve been told that this plot point makes no sense (That there is no reason to throw the map) but I think that is the start of the problems the ‘witch’ causes (I’ll explain what I think the witch is later) the map is thrown away as a release of tension as it is seen as useless and a cause of the problems.

With no map the group soon get lost and with each night they spend in the woods the disturbances get worst until one of the group has disappear (Josh).  As Heather & Mike continue trying to find their way out of the woods they keep hearing what sounds like Josh and in the night they follow his voice to a house.  They run around the house looking for Josh and for a short time Heather loses sight of Mike.  When she finds him he is standing in the corner and someone off camera kills her and then Mike.

No antagonist is ever seen which has coursed a problem for some people who have seen this film as there is no real closure (is the witch real) but I think that you can view the film in a number of ways, it is suggested that some of the locals have followed the group into the woods and it is them who kill the group.  It is also possible that there really is a witch (or hermit)but I think that the witch is a metaphor for the groups paranoia, as the film progresses the daylight scenes are filled more and more with the group arguing and fragmenting  and at night they are scared by the noises coming from outside.  The fist night Josh says he heard two sets of sounds, one may have been an owl but he thinks that the other was a person, he is the only one who heard one and during the first couple of nights the strangeness happens off camera when the group are asleep, things get stranger after Josh has disappeared and, like the witch/hermit he is never seen but is heard, he becomes one of the sounds, the source of the night time fear.  It is very possible that, with the slight anticipation from looking for a witch or evidence of a killer coupled with the growing tension between the group and the loss of the map that Josh snaps and that he is the killer.

The film did a good job of creating the sense of isolation of the group in the woods and I Found myself looking past the cast for any sign of a witch or anything else that should not be there and I was pleasantly surprised at how good the film was.

Hobo with A Shotgun

Title - Hobo With a Shotgun
Language - English
Genre - Grindhouse

Hobo with A Shotgun started out as one of the spoof trailers on the Taranto/Rodrigues ‘Grindhouse’ double bill and was later made into a full length movie.

Hobo starts with a homeless man arriving in a new town with the dream of getting the money together for a lawn mower so he can start his own gardening business but he soon finds that the town he has arrived in is run by the corrupt Drake who will happily make a show of ripping off the head of his relatives.  To begin with the Hobo is happy to keep a low profile but he is taking note of the corruption around him.  The Hobo starts to stop the criminal activity when he finds one of Drakes son’s trying to abduct a young prostitute named Abby, the Hobo knocks out Drakes son and takes him to the local police station only to find that the police are in Drakes pocket.

After witnessing a robber threaten to kill a baby the Hobo uses the money he had for the lawn mower to get a shot gun and with the help of Abby he sets out to clean up the town and get rid of Drake and the corrupt police force.

People were a bit surprised that an actor with the credentials of  Rutger Hauer would take on a part like the Hobo but he plays it well and it was also nice to see the darker, creeper side of  Brian Downey who plays Drake, it makes a change from watching him as Stanly Tweedle in Lexx.

Hobo is a good film about a man trying to do what’s best even if the methods he employs are wrong and we see a character who goes from trying to mind his own business to trying to fix a corrupt town but who knows that, in the end there is only one way to save himself from the corruption that is overtaking him.  Or I could just be over thinking things; ether way Hobo with a Shotgun is an entertaining film with a good amount of gore and action and some good characters and as I have stated it does have a good story but, if all you want is people getting sliced, shot and decapitated then sit back and enjoy

Masters Of martial Harts – 5 Episode Anime

Title - Masters of martial harts
Language - Japanese
Genre - Ecchie, fighting

This came up as a recommendation from a certain on line shop so I looked at some reviews and didn’t find many that had anything good to say about it but as I had a bit of spare time and it was only 5 episodes long I thought I’d give it a watch.

The Series follows Aya Iseshima, a seemingly normal school girl who comes across a fight in the street between a young temple priestess and an older flight attendant, Aya helps the Priestess and the two become friends.  The priestess, Miko, tells Aya that the fight was part of a contest where the winner will get access to the ‘Platonic Heart’ a gem that can grant the winner their greatest wish, but anyone who loses a fight will be banished to a dark realm.  As Milko’s wish was for friends she drops out of the contest but soon disappears and, around the same time Aya receives a text message saying she is Milko’s replacement.  Aya now fights to find out the secret of the Platonic heart and to find out what has happened to Milko.

Masters of Martial Harts is an Ecchie anime with a lot of nudity.

The story telling does not seem to flow well at the beginning, the narrative jumps from slow scenes of dialog between Aya and either her friend Natsume or her mother to the fights.  Each ‘dialog’ scene is meant to further the story and, as the show continues the do but you do need to stick with it for a bit as the narrative stats out slow and then suddenly rushes through, the penultimate episode seem to jump from one fight to the next as if two parts have been spliced together.  The overall feel is that there is that there should be more of the series and from some of the other reviews I’ve seen there was more written.

The Fight scenes give the series most of its ecchie content, each fight pits Aya against opponents each of whom  have a different theme , each time a character is injured their clothes end up getting ripped or shredded. 

The Story takes off from episode 3 and once it gets started it does have a good story line and a few twists and turns and I did enjoy it, I just think it would be better if there were more episodes and the story was not so rushed.

Looking forward to …

Well it’s the end of January so I thought I’d Give a mention to some of the films and comics that are looking good for this year (although if you know me you know it will probably be longer until I get round to seeing them).

So let’s start with a couple of films that have caught my eye, the first one is Prometheus. This is sighted as being a prequel to the ‘Alien’ films but it has also been said that there will not be any of the xenomorphes from the previous films. That being said there have been a number of posters and trailers realised which have left people guessing. One of the trailers shows, what looks like the ‘Space jockeys’, that is the occupants of the spaceship where the aliens are encounter in the first film

http://youtu.be/sftuxbvGwiU

And most of the posters and trailers revolve around a large stone head and a number of pod shaped things which many speculate to be xenomorph eggs although a slightly different shape and not quite the same organic feel so it is possible that they may be something else put there to make you think they are eggs, maybe tombstones

The Second film that has my eye is Thale, a Norwegian film about a 'huldra' a creature that is like a succubus or an elf. A Huldra is a beautiful female that lives in a forest and lures men to her, if they can can satisfy her then they are rewarded if not they disappear. The only way to tell the difference between a Huldra and a normal woman is that the Huldra has a cow like tail. Jugging by the trailers the body of a Huldra has been found and a tail has also been found so either someone is going to put the two together or the Huldra is going to try & reunite herself with the tail.

http://youtu.be/ElBJTweh_T4

The other news is that film of the comic Hack/Slash has a new director and is going ahead, so I'll be looking out for more on this

Comics

2 new comic series have started this month that seem to be good.

The First is Infestation 2 by IDW, this follows on from Infestation & Outbreak

**Spoiler** form the previous 2 series

The First infestation sees members of the CVO team investigating a military base where an inter-dimensional portal has been opened to a universe governed by a conciseness that can take over any intelligence (living, undead or robot) and turn them into zombies, the intelligence possesses one of the CVO team and sends her conciseness

through the portal, the rest of CVO manage to close it but not until she has gone to 4 universes, that of the Transformers, G.I Joe, Star-trek (original series) and Ghost busters, her mission is to gather any magic or technological to help the undermind conquer all the reality’s that exist leading to the first cross over of some of the IDW titles

Outbreak

The Cvo team stop the undermind but radically change the nature of magic in there universe. Whilst trying to find out the precautions of this CVO are hired by area 51 to investigate an attempted break out of some aliens that were imprisoned with demons back in the 60's, the break out is not an attack as first thought but an attempt to get away from the old gods who are escaping there imprisonment thanks to the weakening of magic.

**End of Spoilers**

So Infestation 2 sees the old Gods escaping their prison and attacking different universes, we return to to the transformer and G.I Joe universes but also go to the Teenage ninja Turtles, Dungeons & Dragons & 30 days of night and, from the look of issue one the story seems to flow better than the first Infestation.

The second comic out last week is Nancy In Hell (on Earth),the sequel to Nancy In Hell.

**Spoilers**for Nancy in Hell

In the first series Nancy, an all America cheerleader, her boyfriend and their friends are killed and Nancy awakens in Hell. Teaming up with Lucifer Nancy sets out to escape hell and return to earth, which she does but the doors to Hell are left open and now the demons are free on earth

Nancy and Lucifer are now on earth and are trying to return the demons to Hell but with the appearance of angels in who appear to be after Lucifer will their job be possible.

Now all I need is a follow up to the 'Suicide Girls' comic and I'll be happy for the year

Music

Cracked.com ran their '7 Least Anticipated Albums of 2012 and I found myself looking forward to 2 of them, apparently there will be new albums by the insane Clown possie and a new one from Marilyn Mason both of which I'll be looking out for.

Voltaire is also working on a new album and has put an acoustic track, 'the Trouble with Tribbles' on his youtube page here http://youtu.be/kBVE5_h16Bs

Things to look out for when buying a house in movie land.

We all know that there are a number of thing that you need check but here are some checks that may just save your life.

Location, location, location

They say that location is everything and there are some checks that you should probably make on the neighborhood for example...

Empty streets - They say every town has an 'Elm Street' and if there is one and there is a strange absence of teenagers the you know something is up, even if you are not moving into Elm Street you may want to be careful a sleep deprived teenager can be a dangerous thing.  Empty streets are always a bad sign & if you can't find a good babysitter is on the lookout for the lad in the captain Kirk mask

Local bar's & clubs - Always check out the local facility’s, both to check out how safe they may be, where better to sit out the current zombie invasion than the local but it is equally possible that the local may be bigger source of trouble, it could be the local hangout for any one from the local biker gang to a pack of hungry werewolves.  Even if the customers are normal, if a bit ruff, truckers you still have to watch out for the local entertainment, after all who knows what is going on under the strippers snake.

Even if you decide it is safer to live away from all other people you still have to be careful, do you think the door to your farm house will with withstand the hordes of hungry undead when you are the only source of food.

The Neighbors.

Once you are happy that you will be able to pop into the local without you supersoker of holy water you still need to keep your eyes on the local people for instance...

Are all the women nicely behaved, well dressed and never argue?  If so it's possible they have all been replaced by robots.  Of cause this may not be a problem for you, if not welcome to Stepford & leave the wife on the doorstep we'll have her replaced by tea.

On the other hand you may find that the only people in the town are the women.  At first glance this may seem to be a good thing after all it would make finding a date easier but you need to ask yourself what happened to all the other men after all it is unlikely a town has survived for long with just one gender, look around if you see an over the top pa system it is advised to run and never look back.

Even once you have found a neighborhood where both sexes seem to be accounted for you still need to be on your toes and look out for groups and clubs the hoodies hanging out on the street corner are a common sight and are probably pretty harmless but what of the social/hunting lodge or the 'keep our town clean' comity, what secrets are behind their doors and what did happen to the human statue who was on the corner outside Smiths?

The House

So the neighborhood seems safe and the people appear sane now you have to check the actual house.  The first thing to do is check the history out, if the previous owners have turned up dead or seem to have vanished you need to be careful.  Check the land deeds if the house is built on any kind of burial ground you should probably look at a different house.

Even if the previous owners are accounted for and there were no graves desecrated to build it's still a good idea to have a good look around, check under the wallpaper if a room is painted red or covered in graffiti about being unhappy then there is probably some bad mojo floating about.  Last of all check any wells, water tanks and hidey holes, all good places for hiding bodies.

Landlords & other tenants

If you are moving into flats or a hotel you should also try to find out about the other people in the building, does the landlord keep talking to his mother even though no one has ever seen her.  What about the man across the hall who keeps feeding something in a wicker basket and what about the man on the top floor, just what is he doing with the anthrax.

Items left behind

Once you have moved into your new house you need to be aware of any items that the previous owners have left behind after all what better way to get rid of that cursed item than to leave it for someone else to find, even worst if the previous tenant died then it could have been any one of the knickknacks that have been left behind.  Any item could be dangerous, from the Chinese puzzle box left on the fire place to the copy of the necronomican left in the basement and don't just play that video that has been left lying around.  Also remember not all wardrobes lead to Narnia some contain monsters as do mirrors.  It would be advised to empty everything out of the house that is not yours and then burn the lot.

If you follow this advice you should find a nice quiet house where you will out your life in safety...except what’s that, a new neighbor moving in and what’s that, it looks like a coffin, oh well time to move again.